ABOUT PROPRIETY!
I grew up well taught by my mom on the issue of propriety.
Propriety is the quality of conforming to conventionally accepted standards of behavior.
In that sense, I owe to her much of my success as a professional and as a decent and honest person. On the other hand, that has also brought about many personal struggles with my inner self.
The constant preoccupation with doing the appropriate thing all the time has put me in a very difficult and, at times, awkward position. 
I have often been way too hard on myself. Other times I have been completely lost and paralyzed with the notion of making sure I do the right thing with everyone and everything.
The 'proper' person will always have to observe the details and rules of behavior that are conventionally considered to be socially correct. Some of the synonyms to propriety include decorum, respectability, decency, good manners, correctness, morality and politeness. No pressure... right?
When it came to my dad, I was introduced to a different perspective. His idea was more like the 'I don't care what the world thinks, because I know what needs to be done'.
Now when I look back, I can see how trying to figure the balance between these two learned philosophies has many times unsettled my thoughts and the events in my life.
The problem with trying to always do the right thing (even though it makes you an honest, decent and good natured person) is that, first, you may never fully achieve that stage, and secondly, you will constantly be disappointed, because most people will not treat you back with any propriety at all whatsoever.
On the other hand, if I chose to think like my dad and simply adopted the "forget it and do what you need to do' I would also face tons of problems. Different ones, but problems nonetheless!
Problems such as some people not liking you very much and also of finding yourself winning often, but sometimes alone in your victory.
Life has taken me through situations in which I have applied mom's way and it has worked wonderfully. Then again, my dad's frankness has many times proven to be the best option for me, also.
Different from propriety, frankness is the quality of being open, honest and direct.
And so it is that at this point in my life I finally figured that the best recourse is to stand somewhere between these two life-policies. The trick is always to be able to determine which option to choose for each situation in life.
I have clearly understood that instead of thinking that I was brought up in some messy environment with mixed signals of what may or may not be the right course of action in life, the reality is that I was very lucky indeed to learn and hear the wisdom from these two very important authority figures.
Some only know one way of handling people and the many events they will encounter through life. But I know better!
I know that everything and everyone should be given the benefit of the doubt and be treated with due propriety. But once that option proves to be wrong, one needs not to hesitate to grab on to the 'forget them and do what you need to do" option.
And when you do, do it without any guilt or remorse knowing that you have done the right thing indeed! RMC
